In Part 1 you learned about how Raising Godly Children starts with assessing your own GODLY IDENTITY. Next, you recognized your GODLY RESPONSIBILITY to “walk the walk” if you’re going to “talk the talk” of raising Godly Children. In this one (Part 2), you are going to discover the importance of DISCIPLINE (gulp) and your children’s true NEEDS.
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:5-7
3. DISCIPLINE in Raising Godly Children
“Talking the Talk and Walking the Walk” comes in the form of DISCIPLINE! This word can sound scary, but remember that discipline actually means “to teach” and not “to punish.” When you are in Christ, Jesus took your punishment on the Cross. It is FINISHED. Your responsibility now is to teach your children the Godly Way.
“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11
How your children behave does not define who you are - good or bad. However, as a Christ-Follower, you have a responsibility to train them up in nurture and teaching of the Lord. This means if your kids are acting a fool - you need to let them know about it! No one ENJOYS disciplining their child. It breaks your heart when your kids can’t have what they want or they cry or feel sad. And, if you’re REALLY honest, sometimes it’s just EASIER to give in then to deal with all the whining.
Surely you WANT the peaceful fruit of righteousness for your children!
- There are too many households in the church that revolve around the children!
- Children are not being taught or modeled a Christ-like life and values.
- Parents who don’t discipline when children disobey, are dishonest or disrespectful.
- Homes allow children to have free reign because their “self-esteem” might be harmed.
- How many of your homes don’t look much different from the homes of those who don’t know Christ?
There is something wrong here. Please, hear my heart in this, I care for you! If this is the situation you are in, you don’t have to it alone. Is your home more child-centered than God-focused? Do you feel guilty about spending time outside the home, and allow your children - rather than God - to be the center of your home? Or maybe you want to give your children more than you ever had. Or perhaps you are looking at what the WORLD is saying you need to do to have “happy” children. AGAIN, it is your God-given responsibility as a mom to discipline your children!
God has called you to help your children be HOLY not HAPPY.
Protecting your children means setting and maintaining limits on behaviors and actions. If you have let your children take charge and now don’t know what to do, it’s not too late. Your first step is to repent, knowing that IN CHRIST you are holy, beloved, blameless, justified, and redeemed! In Christ, God has already forgiven you! Your second step is to reach out for help! I can help you if you want assistance how to re-organize your home according to God‘s design. Please, reach out for help: You are not alone!
God created men and women with specific roles. He also created children to be obedient to their parents to respect and honor them. The fifth commandment in Deuteronomy 5:16 explains this.“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Paul also tells us in Ephesians 6:1-3 that this is the first Commandment with a promise: “So that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth’”
You must be involved in your children’s life enough to ensure that no other influence takes precedence over YOU! And can’t blame the culture, social media, television, peers, or teachers. You alone are the one who allowed any others to have more input into your child’s life than you!
4. Godly NEEDS of Children
What do your children ACTUALLY need? Jesus, of course! They need to know who Jesus is and how holy God is. And how they are sinners in need of a Savior. Do not allow these needs to get muddled by the influences of this world. For example, “Oh they’re just kids! Let them be or else they’ll feel bad about themselves and that could damage their self esteem”. You need to be more concerned with where your children are in relationship with God and others rather than in their own self-esteem!
I will say that I care very little about how my own children view themselves. But very much about how they view God and others! Romans 8:7-8 reads, “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” Your children need regeneration! Only God can turn someone’s heart toward Him. But it’s no accident that the children in your life are there because God wants to work in and through you.
“Your children don’t need more activities or more things. They need more of YOU.”
Not that activities or things are “bad,” but here’s a challenge. If your children are in activities, add up the hours in a typical week that you drive to and from the activity; are at the activity; practice, shop, or otherwise prepare for the activity. Now compare that number to the hours each week you spend in uninterrupted time with your family. This includes: One-on-one time or family time; Preparing, sharing, and cleaning up after a meal together; Playing games, riding bikes, or walking together. Does it happen? Or are you in one room on your phone. Or doing laundry or cooking. And they’re in another on the computer, watching TV, or on their phone?
I am not here to condemn you and your parenting, but to help you consider that if you want to Raise Godly Children, you need to follow a Godly plan! In John 3:17 - 18, it reads that God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned. Let us pray for our kids, for our obedience and theirs, and for strength to follow His Word in raising our children to love and seek the Lord!
Email “JOIN” to get on our mailing list: [email protected] and be notified (on Monday’s only) about the latest articles, newest Monday’s Mom, and ways to help you connect better with the children in your life!
Kate Fraiser is a Parent Coach with Connect Point Moms helping you create stronger relational connections with the children in your life. This starts with being aware of your own stuff so you can BE PRESENT with your children in the moment you’re in, and then knowing and using the best ways to communicate with them. For quick and helpful parenting videos, find her on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, or Facebook.
- Some books that have helped along the way: