Originally written on 5/29/20 by Jocelyn Hall.
This is what’s on my mind: I feel sad….maybe scared. But definitely sad. I can’t stop crying, thinking about all the hate, and to be more specific, the racism. Because I am white and Hispanic but look white. I have never had to worry about the color of my skin being a problem or worry that someone might judge me because I looked a certain race. I feel privileged. Not because I did anything but just because that’s how God made me.
My family is not privileged. My husband is a 6’1” muscular black man (and strikingly handsome if I say so myself). Yet, some consider him a threat. To me, and to those who know him, he is harmless – seriously he is one of the most helpful people I know! He is a good person and always has a genuine and ready smile for everyone. He loves God and does everything and anything for me and our kids. I could go on and on but I get mad that I even have to. He matters.
Our three children are mixed. To me, they are the most perfect things. They are beautiful, smart, silly, and amazing little beings. A lot like all kids: They love toys, snacks, playing outside, play doh, painting, music and yes, I get a little crazy from their antics from time to time. They are my little gifts from God. Again, I could go on and on but I get mad that I even have to. They matter.
My extended family is also black – my brother-in-law and my nieces. I love them so much and they are all just such wonderful people. I tell you about how my brother-in-law has been so successful owning his own company he has been invited to the White House and received tons of awards. Or how my nieces are some of the smartest little girls you will meet. One niece had the highest test scores in writing and math at her school. I could tell you that they are amazing athletes and work really hard. I could tell you they are silly and fun and kind and love their family so much but I get mad that I even have to. They also matter.
They Matter, Too
I have countless friends who are black and have black children and they are amazing and I’m blessed to have such great friends and people in life. I could go on and on about how my black friends are so successful with family life, jobs, and in their communities. But I get mad that I even have to. They matter, too.
And, because of their skin tone, the one that God gave them, the black people in my life will be looked at differently, will be scared when they go for runs on their own, or just do everyday life on their own. I am terrified that as my two sweet, little boys get bigger and will leave the house without me, they will be seen only as “black” and that is a label that I’m starting to really grasp the pain that comes with it. My heart breaks with generations and generations of black people being oppressed and treated worse than animals are treated. And yet, aren’t ALL HUMANS created in God’s image? Yes. We are. My heart breaks for all those Mamas who lose their black children because they were simply black. They matter.
They All Matter
I also feel sad that more of our white friends and family don’t speak up. Where are your voices? Now don’t get me wrong I’ve had plenty of white friends share my rage and message and post and it is so encouraging. But sometimes not saying anything speaks so much louder. I feel sad that my news feed was flooded with anger over Colin Kappernick a couple years ago yet those same people have yet to share one thing about the racial injustice in our country. Some of my white friends posting about how the riots are ridiculous and “that’s not how you protest,” yet didn’t say one thing after they watched that video of George Floyd get the life choked right out of him. They all still matter.
It breaks my heart and I feel so very sad. I’ve been learning about human emotions and reactions and I’ve learned that anger is a secondary emotion. The anger you see coming from the people who are rioting was first probably fear. Years and years and years of it. Angry is secondary. Their voices, for years, have never been listened to by the majority. And this has to stop!
If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you are avoiding and ignoring the racial tension going on right now, I ask that you stop! Start researching some of the deaths that have built up to this point. Research the history of our country. Go talk to a black person and you soon will discover they are just like you with goals and dreams and fears and feelings. Open up your heart and mind and listen to what they are saying. You can make a difference.
I pray for all those families who miss their loved ones. I pray we can all come together so no one has to live in fear of losing their life because of the shade of their skin. Enough is really enough.
Jocelyn loves Jesus, has an amazing husband of 9 years, three wonderful children (7, 5, and 2), a multitude of friends, and is an avid volleyball player. She stays home with her children right now – although she taught Kindergarten, 1st and 3rd grade for 9 years before having children, and one year after! Jocy served as the Coach in Early Childhood at Grace Point Church in Las Vegas before moving back to Albuquerque. And she is constantly helping other moms connect better with the children in their lives. She is a blessing to so many in her life and I am honored to call her my friend.
Kate Fraiser is a Parent Coach with Connect Point Moms helping you create stronger relational connections with the children in your life. This starts with being aware of your own stuff so you can BE PRESENT with your children in the moment you’re in, and then knowing and using the best ways to communicate with them. For quick and helpful parenting videos, find her on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, or Facebook.