Self-care for moms is an essential part of your life. You may have heard, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” At Connect Point Moms we say: “You can only give from what you have!” In this article, you’ll be reminded of SIX easy things for self-care that you can do to keep filled because you literally can only give from what you have.
#1 Take care of your own needs!
Have you ever made sure your children ate breakfast, brushed teeth, and washed faces….and then realized that YOU haven’t yet done any of these things? Love yourself well by taking care of your own needs first. By doing so, your children are going to see modeling of taking care of their own basic needs. You see, it’s not just about what you tell them to do, it’s about them watching you and doing what they see you do!
YOU need quiet time and exercise every single day. You also need sleep and healthy food at regular intervals. Taking appropriate care of yourself first is the best care for your family! If you need help with this, connect with me here.
#2 Give Yourself Grace
You do not need to win “Mom of the Year.” nSometimes, just take a step back from your regular schedule a bit to just slow down and enjoy the moments with your children. Children feel the same anxiety we feel. Empathize with them by saying, “Sometimes this is hard. But I know we can handle this together!” If you are new to homeschooling, know that you don’t have to teach your children like they do in school (maybe YOU expect that of yourself and that’s why you need to give yourself GRACE). Stop. Breathe. Pray. More on this here. These kids being yours is no mistake – you may not have planned for them, but God did. He can give you everything you need. Rest in Him. Trust in Him. Breathe. You are doing amazing work. You are not alone. You can handle this.
#3 See the Best
What you focus on is what you are going to see the most. Therefore, if you focus on: “That thoughtless jerk didn’t use a turn signal and almost caused an accident!” Then, you are going to experience anger, judgement, fear, and disgust. If instead, you focus on what you DO have (you were saved from a possible accident, you got to wait a little longer to work on patience, etc), then you are going to experience a feeling of gratefulness, gladness, relief, and appreciation. In EVERY SINGLE situation there is a “gap” between what you expect and what actually is (See Mom Minute below). What you fill that gap with is your choice – “believing the best” or “assuming the worst.”
#4 Set Boundaries
Anxiety levels are noticeably raised after scrolling social media. Scrolling Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and so on may cause worry about the future or a fear of missing out (FOMO). Sometimes you may feel inadequate as a mom, as a wife, or just not as good as those (false) images with which you are bombarded. If you can understand that, remember these true words:
“If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. If you look at God you’ll be at rest.”Corrie Ten Boom
Set and stick to clear boundaries regarding social media – or any media. For example, NEVER let it be the first thing you look at when you wake up! Perhaps, you can set a “15 minute every two hours” rule. Depending on your work/school/family needs, this is a personal decision, but it is highly recommended to set boundaries for your well-being. Most importantly, share these boundaries with someone who can help hold you accountable! Knowing that someone else knows and will encourage you in meeting your goals, can be so helpful!
#5 Stay Connected
Just as important as having boundaries around your media use is keeping up your social connections. We were created for relationships, and “Connection Is The Point.” Put your kids in a stroller and walk around the block with a friend or neighbor. Or meet up at a park and let the kids play while you watch and chat together. You can call or text pretty much anyone at any time. Even better, you can FaceTime with your Apple product or Skype on your PC. You can Zoom with groups or Marco Polo from any smart phone. Just stay connected! Please, reach out to those single moms or others who live alone. We need to stay connected with other humans for our social, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
We were created for relationships by a relational God and the way we are going to not just survive, but thrive, is by staying connected with each other.
#6 And then, Give!
Everything we have belongs to God. He gave it to us to care for, to use for His glory and for our joy.Genesis 1 – 2; Psalms 24, 104
Firstly, as a Christ-Follower, you should be involved in a local church that you call home. This is so important in God’s Word! Don’t be fooled by thinking you can just “watch online” and call it good. “…not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:25
Next, tithing can be a sensitive topic. But since Jesus talked about money, you need to know the importance of giving to your local church! You may wonder why you have to give to your local church if you give to other charities. Well, don’t you give to your family first before you feed the family down the street?
Bottom line: If you have faith in the One who is in control of it all, the One who has so generously lavished grace upon grace on you, how can you also not be generous?
Connect Point Moms helps you create stronger relational connections with the children in your life. This starts with being aware of your own stuff so you can BE PRESENT with your children in the moment you’re in, and then knowing and using the best ways to communicate with them! For quick, helpful parenting videos, find “Kate Connects” on YouTube or join our Facebook group to find encouraging, supportive moms struggling through it all together!